Zim's Assistant
by AvP66
Summary: GIR's been acting up lately, and Zim can't stand it, so he asks the tallest to send something. To shut him up, they send the only unlucky invader unassigned to a planet to both watch and shut Zim up, Invader Averii.
1. Not the Nachos!

A/N - Chapters are sorta short, but that's something that's not going to be dealt with for a while. Insert review begging here, that sorta thing.

Before, the place had been a place of dark, purplish rock and plantlife, with the deep blue of oceans covering over half of it. It was ringed with small icerings and asteroids, and was host to a variety of flora and fauna, though the rat-people were far from the least. Among the varied animal life, there lived primitive tribes of them, dotting the continents with their settlements. That is, before the bulbous, crimson ships had appeared in the sky, bringing death and firey rain as they lay waste to the land before them.

The leaders of said ships were currently above it once more, overseeing the construction of the new parking structure planet as they argued one of the most disputed things in their lives...

"Sprinkles! Sprinkles are better!" Purple shouted through his mouthful of nachos, munching away.

The better topping for Doughnuts.

"No, Pur, chocolate's better." Red replied, clicking his antennae, getting a small growl of annoyance from his co-ruler. "Doughnuts have always been better with chocolate."  
"No, sprinkles! All the colors, and the taste!" He argued as he swallowed the leftovers, floating behind Red as they entered the Massive's staff resturaunt. At this time of the ship's day/night cycle, it was mostly empty, perks of being early risers. Being Almighty Tallest was a nice thing, too.  
"Purple, I'm telling you, it's Chocolate. Besides, sprinkles don't add anything to a doughnut, they taste like nothing." The tallest leaned on their usual table, and soon after, a service drone waddled over.  
"My tallest, what will you have today?" He asked, a notepad in hand.  
"Nachos!" Exclaimed Purple, already plenty hungry.  
"Come on, Pur, we had that yesterday." Groaned Red, facepalming.  
"But I like nachos." Complained Purple.  
"Fine, fine. Nachos for me too, and a soda, if you will." He told the drone, staring off at the screen with an annoyed expression.  
"Sprinkles are still better." Purple muttered, looking away from Red, who began to race a fist, but shouted as the black screen to their left crackled noisilly to life, falling over as it did.  
"What is it? We haven't had breakfast yet!" Purple complained, oblivious to the sprawled out Red on the ground. Red looked up, seeing a tired, nervous-looking red-eyed Technician staring back.  
"Apologies, my tallest, but we have a transmission from Earth." Replied the tech. "He's been waiting for..." He paused, and looked off screen. "Five hours."  
"That's dedication, I'll give him that." Purple said, trying to cheer the agitated Red as he pulled himself back to his seat  
"More like an restless pest, I'd say." He muttered. "Can't this wait?"  
"It could, but we've detected several suspicious signals coming from the same frequency attempting to gain access to our inner network." A different tech, a purple-eyed one, poked her head in. "He's attempting to hack into the massive again." The tallest's eyes widened with realization.  
"Well then," Red said, putting on a fake, cheery tone, "Let's keep that from happening, and patch him in, shall we? Another day, another cycle." The techs nodded grimly, and after a moment, Zim's overexcited face appeared on the screen, though Red detected a tinge of annoyance today.  
"MY TALLEST! I'VE WAITED FOR SO LONG!" The red-eyed defect exclaimed. Red's eye caught on the SIR they gave him in the background for a moment. It looked like it was half-dressed in some... Green dog-suit, with questionable brown stains on it. Not that they could distinguish it from the brown stuff all over it's face and hands. He looked back to Zim though.  
"Yeah, yeah, Zim, wait until we eat first, can you?" Said Red in an agitated tone, frowning.  
"Red, food's here." Purple announced, garbled by another mouthful of nachos as the table-headed drone waddled away.  
"Save my half or I get today's doughnuts." He ordered, turning away briefly from Zim.  
"Apologies, my tallest." He said, his grin gone.  
"So what is it now, Zim? You aren't getting your battle tanks, if that's what you want." His disintrested voice fell upon deaf antennae, Zim unfazed.  
"Or those death monkies." Remarked Purple.  
"Oh, nothing like that, my tallest!" Zim grinned once more. "It's just... I need a-"  
"UNICORNY!" Shouted the robot, making Zim wince as it jumped on a floating, tiny purple moose, and rode it around.  
"GIR! DISMOUNT MINIMOOSE IMMEDIATELY!" He shouted, turning as the tallest supressed a chuckle.  
"I don't wanna!" Retorted the defiant voice of the 'advanced' robot. "WEEEHEHEEE!" He shouted, rubbing his sticky brown limbs on the squeaking moose as it flew around in terror.  
"SQUEAK!" It shouted, if a moose could shout.  
"MINIMOOSE! DON'T PANIC!" Zim shouted, running off screen. "BAD! BAD GIR! DOWN!" His sillouhette clutched at his antennae as the unseen Gir flew around off-screen. "Ah, forget it." He hissed, walking back to the monitor.  
"So then... We'll call lat-" Red began, sucking on a straw, but was interrupted by Zim.  
"BUT MY TALLEST! IT IS URGENT!" He cried, arching his back and curling his fingers as he bit his lip. "My newest plan requires precision! Brilliance! And the lack of a certain green dog!" He spat the last part bitterly. The tallest looked to one another for support, and after a moment, Red sighed.  
"Zim, he's perfectly capable, remember?" He put on a false, cheery tone and a cheesy smile.  
"Yeah, he's ADVANCED!" Purple added, pulling the same act as Red, and stifled a laugh as the machine reappeared in the background, ramming the small moose into the nearby wall.  
"B-But my tallest!" He stammered, furrowing his nonexistant eyebrows. "Surely there is someone you can send!" He gestured to GIR, who was now rolling on the ground.  
"Sorry Zim, but everyone's busy, er, polishing the massive! Yeah, the Massive!" Purple cut in, his mask starting to break. It wasn't helping that a few of said polishers were actually walking into the resturaunt.  
"Zim, just deal with it..." Red groaned.  
"Er, my tallest, what's that SIR unit doing?" Called someone; Red thought it was Invader Larb.  
"What do you mean?" Purple said, taking his eyes away from his nachos for a moment to gaze at the screen.  
"MY TACOS WANNA COME AND PLAY!" Screeched the robot as it hunched over and began to make retching sounds.  
"GIR? NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP! GO!" Zim hissed, advancing towards the robot with fear in his eye.  
"What is he... OH, MY... OH, JEEZ..." Shouted an Invader, observing the moment; most of the people who walked in lost their apetite as the retching continued.  
"Red?" Purple said weakly, taking his eyes away and clutching his antennae.  
"What is it, Purple?" Red asked, similarly clutching at his antennae in annoyance.  
"I think I'm gonna be sick now."  
"NOT ON THE NACHOS!" Screamed Red, who attempted to dive and save his breakfast before it was too late.  
He was too late.  
"Eugh, come on, you got some on me, too!" Red complained; far off, a certain purple-haired girl muttered the word 'Whiner'.  
"I can't help it." Purple cried. "Someone! Get the soap!" As the two rushed off-screen, the rest of the crew in the room began to vacate it, leaving Zim, simply staring with a look of disgust as GIR continued to empty himself on the floor.  
"COMPUTER! CLEANSE THIS FILTH!" He shouted, facepalming, and turning back to the monitor as a disgruntled Red reappeared, Purple not too far behind.  
"So, how 'bout that new robot then?" Zim said idly, ignoring Gir as he climbed into the ceiling.  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Red grunted, dismissing it, focused on his stomach, which was grumbling quietly. Zim immediately took this as an answer.  
"REALLY? THANK YOU, MY TALLEST! I SHALL NOT FAIL YOU!" He shouted, striking a victorious pose.  
"Wait, what?" Red said, confused, looking towards Purple, who shrugged.  
"Sir, you sort of... Accepted his request." An Advisor whispered; the resturaunt was beginning to fill back up, business undeterred by the vomiting machine. Red froze, antennae vertical and eyes wide.  
"Oh no. "  
"BRING ME THE FODDER!" Screeched Zim, who launched himself into a maniacal laugh. "FODDER FOR ZIMMY!"  
"Quick, conscript someone!" Red hissed at the Advisor, who nodded with fear in his eyes, and ran off, the customers giving him a wide berth as he looked about.  
"What about that one guy who's not doing anything? Invader whatshisname?" Purple suggested, wiping his mouth on his arm. Red's eyes widened, and he tried to gesture 'No, you fool'. Apparently, to Purple, this meant 'Tell him everything'.  
"What Invader? Is it Skoodge?" Zim asked, interested, as the advisor ran back into the room, datapad in hand, gasping loudly.  
"I took a list of more famous convicts, sir." He whispered, falling over.  
"I think THESE people will work much better." Red said, grabbing the list from the exausted Irken, and began to read them off.  
"What do you mean, they'll work better? I must know! THE JUICE INSIDE YEARNS FOR KNOWLEDGE!" Zim hissed.  
"Well, for starters, we have someone named 'Crome'-" Red was interrupted by Zim's shouting.  
"Hey, isn't he that one murderer guy?" He asked suspiciously. Red gulped; he hadn't exactly expected the short defective to know about the first choice on the list. "Besides, what about the invader? He should be the perfect choice!"  
"Fine." Red grunted, motioning for the advisor to get something on him so he'd shut up. Said advisor sighed, and began running again. The room was silent, save for the cooking food and the customers.  
"...Sprinkles are still the better topping, Red." Purple said.  
"No, Pur, Chocolate is better." Red growled.  
"Why not both?" Zim cut in. The three fell silent once more, this time in thought.  
"My legs... They are jelly." Gasped the Advisor, handing Red the datapad, who glanced at it for but a moment, and ignored the now collapsed Irken. He sighed, and brought the Datapad to his face.  
"Invader Averii..." He fell silent, eyes scanning the dossier.  
"What's it say?" Zim asked, impatient.  
"Yeah, I wanna see!" Purple added.  
"He got stranded on Blorch for a week with broken legs and low charge on his rifle, got promoted for it, and got shot in a training accident shortly after becoming an Invader." Zim's mind suddenly flashed back a few years, back to a training mission on a deserted area of Irk. That, and how Skoodge said something about a weapons malfunction resulting in a hospitalization.  
"Due in part to that and... Complications, he missed both assignings." Red continued, but before he could skim the next part, Zim interrupted him again.  
"One simply miss those! Not even with a hole in their chest, or a parasite on their head!" Red sighed in annoyance.  
"Well then, list two; Cro-" Purple began, reading off the list, but was interrupted by Zim once more.  
"I'm pretty sure he's that one murderer guy!" Zim persisted. Red pulled Purple aside , motioning for Zim to wait.  
"Pur, what if he knows that everyone on that list is a criminal that we're trying to send to him?" He whispered, worry on his face.  
"Knowing Zim, he probably does." Purple admitted, before his antennae snapped upwards. "Red, what if we sent them, and they escaped?" He began to panic. "This was a terrible idea!" He shouted, before Red softly punched his arm.  
"Fine, we're sending Avey." He growled, defeated, and motioned for Purple to dispose of the datapads.  
"Affirmative, my tallest! Thank you once more!" He shouted, grinning, before the screen deacivated. "Invader Zim, signing out!"  
"Ugh. You, table-headed service drone Garry, refill my soda!"


	2. Insert Title Here

A/N - -Insert Review Begging Here-

* * *

EARTH, TWO DAYS AFTER ASSIGNMENT OF INVADER AVERII  
ALSO KNOWN AS MAY 8, 2085 ON EARTH

Zim had his doubts about this 'Averii', however loyal he was to the tallest or the Empire.  
"GIR!" Zim called to the defective machine.  
"WHAT?" He shouted back, falling down from Irk-Knows-Where on the ceiling, covered in bacon grease.  
"Guh, stay away from me, and watch this Invader 'Averii'. We don't want him pulling another Tak." He ordered, and hoped it got through the grease, but as the robot began to spin on it's head, he face-palmed and sighed in annoyance.  
"PIGGY!" The deranged little machine screeched, and Zim let him be, kicking him off somewhere else in the receiver room.  
"Computer! What do you have on this 'Averii' figure?" Zim called out to his slightly more competent sidekick, other than the currently missing Minimoose.  
"No data found." It replied without emotion.  
"Worthless piece of dookie." Zim muttered, and turned to the actual 'receiver' part of the receiver room; a teleporter receiver end, obviously. He'd been waiting for five minutes for the newblood to reach him after reaching home-base after another day of the human's 'Skool'. Oh, how he hated it so badly. Why, just this day...

***  
HOURS EARLIER

"Eugh..." Zim muttered, observing today's human cuisine; a type of grain or grass crop the humans made called rice, blended with the condiment ketchup. It looked rather disgusting, and by the smell of it, would make a hog-beast keel over. He put the spork of it down (He wondered how they dared to name a lowly food utensil after one of the past Almighty Tallest, the answer still illusive, stays out of his reach to this day) and began to observe the humans as they sniffed, cautiously ate, and fell to the ground choking and vomiting from the foul material  
He usually stayed away from the cafeteria these days, usually on a plan or some other thing. He looked back to his plate of the horrid food, but as he was about to stand up and throw it into the garbage, and just plain leave the wretched cafeteria, he found his face being shoved forward into the goop, and with a yelp, had a mouthful of the vile substance.

Dib laughed hysterically as Zim hacked and coughed on the rice and ketchup, writhing around on the table and flailing. The other kids, sadly, weren't able to notice what was happening due to the fact that it also affected them the usual way. It was both a blessing and a curse that Ketchup and Rice day happened only every 2 months.

***  
PRESENT

"Stinking, wretched HYOOMANS!" Zim shouted, emphasizing the 'Hu' part especially. How he hated Earth.  
"Receiving teleportation transmission!" The computer announced, and the teleporter began to power on to receive the incoming invader.

***  
IN ORBIT

Tak had been up there for 420 human days. 420 days since her plan failed. 420 days since the primitive, inbred humans, with the help of Zim, defeated her. 420 days since the tallest announced their final rejection. And 419 days since she began to make her plan B. Sitting in her ship and amusing herself with MiMi's bits and pieces to reconstruct her servant and ship, Tak's tinkering was interrupted by the flash of blue light that nearly struck her pod.  
A flash of light that also happened to reactivate MiMi's power unit.  
Bolting up, and nearly smacking her mistress in the back, MiMi pulled her newly reassembled body up in the pod.  
"What on IRK- MIMI!?" Tak shouted in surprise, a few screws, nuts, and bolts flying off in multiple directions in the zero-g environment.  
"Mistress Tak, reporting full operational status following unknown anomaly." MiMi stated simply through a newly-installed voice module. Looking around, MiMi spoke once more. "Assuming we have failed operation 'Stuffing'?" The home-made SIR asked rhetorically.

***  
AT THE BASE

Teleportation is an both an odd science, and an odd experience. You can feel yourself becoming smaller as your molecules and atoms are memorized and sent through a beam to a select receiver, feel your limbs and legs being... eroded off of yourself, perhaps, and your body scattered around, flying through space. Though, all Ave could think of as he was reassembled, piece by piece, bit by bit, was relief, sweet relief that he was back on solid ground, all together again. When he opened his eyes to the world, Ave saw intense, deep blood-red eyes staring straight back at him, scrutinizing him.

Zim looked at the newblood, studying him like a scientist would to bacteria. He had Blue eyes, oddly enough, reminding him of Almighty Tallest Miyuki. Zim hasn't seen many blue eyed irkens since the blob had broken free and ate Miyuki that long time ago, when that stupid Vort moved the generator too close... Snapping back to attention, he noticed the soldier staring with a vague expression of shocked surprise. Stepping back a bit, he barely hesitated to begin to instruct him. "INVADER! STATE YOUR NAME!" Zim ordered, though he knew the answer.  
Snapping to attention, the newcomer began to answer. "SIR, INVADER AVERII, CLA-"  
Cutting him off, Zim continued. "Very well then. COMPUTER!" He called out.  
"Whaaaaat?" The computer complained.  
"PREPARE THE TESTING CHAMBER!" He ordered over-dramatically.  
"You mean the di-"  
"I AM ZIM!"

Ave just stood there, and began to let his back become slightly slackened as he waited for more direction. This 'Zim' seemed rather... harmless, for now. He didn't have to wait long to get another order, thankfully.

"Invader Averii, you shall now be addressed simply as 'Recruit' for now! FOLLOW ME!" Zim ordered to the newcomer, and began to march towards the elevator, in the corner farthest from the teleporter. Ave began to follow, a bit cautiously, however. It all seemed rather new to him, Zim noted to himself as he hit the button for the 'Testing Room', as he was calling it for now.

"Sir, I assume I am to address you as Zim?" Ave asked as the rather small elevator crawled upwards, past all the worm-like circuitry.  
"Yes, you are to address me as Zim at all times." Zim replied, as if he was replying to an idiotic child, slightly irking Ave. He seemed to have a bit of an ego.

The door opened to a dark room with what looked like a computer with two separate halves of a capsule hanging to the sides; a modified version of the disguise generator used by Zim on his first minutes on Earth. "Ah, here we are. Now, the TEST." Zim said dramatically, and the machine in the corner activating. "You are to choose a proper disguise to serve you on Earth that I must approve of."

Zim continued, gesturing to the machine in the corner. Ave began to walk towards it, then began to scroll around in the selection of disguises to find an appropriate one, but his options were limited, seeing there were only 3 choices; A tall, skinny red-haired human hologram; A rather large, bearded human hologram; both making him cringe in disgust, and a simple pair of contact lenses, resembling the common brown eyes of humans, and a black wig. He began to reach towards the 1st option, but was stopped by a computer monitor dropping down, and blocking him.  
"You may not want to do that." The voice of the computer warned, Zim looking suspiciously at the ceiling, as if searching for something, and nudged his hand towards the wig and lenses. Ave, though suspicious of the computer, tensed up as he began to reach for the option.

***

Zim was certain he saw something blue flash up in the ceiling a second ago, and he didn't like it. He was also certain Dib was in his base once again, crawling around like some insect. Over the screaming of his new assistant, who was having the disguise burned onto him pretty much, he called out to the ceiling. "DIB-MEAT! I KNO-"  
Zim froze mid-sentence, realizing that the head didn't seem big enough. Zim was about to continue shouting, but was interrupted by the falling form of a rampaging Gir, sounding vaguely like he was saying 'Intruder'.

A minute later, and after horrendous burning pain from the synthesizing of the disguise parts, it was done, and Ave was scratching at his eyes furiously as Zim paid no attention, trying to get Gir off of his face. Another minute later, Ave was thumped in the head by Gir being flung to the far side of the room, Zim trying to crawl away from the machine, seeming more defective by the minute.


	3. Really I need a name here

A/N - Yes, yes, chapters are generally short, but once I get to more recent chapters, that'll change.

* * *

TWO DAYS AFTER ASSIGNING OF INVADER AVERII  
ALSO KNOWN AS MAY 8TH, 2085 ON EARTH  
'TESTING ROOM' OF ZIM, ZIM'S BASE

Ave lay on the floor, in pain, and feeling extremely sore, with a horrendously horrible itch on his eyes. Groaning, and resisting the urge to scratch at them, he opened his eyes, to see the partially-familiar circuitry of his new commander's base. Ah, yes, he remembered now. He had half-passed out on the floor after getting slammed in the head with something, what it was, he did not know. He reached to his eyes, and began to peel off the contacts, feeling sweet relief as the itch subsided, though why he did not do that an hour ago, he didn't know. Looking around, he was still in Zim's 'Testing Room', but Zim wasn't here, though he vaguely remembered Zim crawling out, and escaping from... What had he called it, Gir? That little android thing, screaming about pigs and invaders, or something.

Dusting himself off, he put his wig and lenses inside his PAK, and walked to the elevator, and climbed onto the pad, which had a barely conscious Zim on it, bruised and bleeding from the corner of his mouth.  
"Uh, Sir?" Ave probed, poking him with one of his PAK legs. Little response. He tried again, and Zim began to wake some more. Groaning, he stretched, and pushed himself up as the lift began to move up.  
"Stop calling me that, it irks me." Zim ordered. "You passed the test, by the way." He groaned as he began to feel his injuries.  
"What happened?" Ave asked.  
"Pain!" Zim declared, and grimaced as some sore bruises began to show. When he saw that his new subordinate was still waiting for a whole answer, he said, "GIR happened."  
"Gir? That insane... droid thing?" Ave inquired, and stretched a bit. His short nap on the floor was anything but refreshing.  
"Yes, you are to replace him until I can figure out why he's acting up. Well, more than usual."  
"You mean he's like that a lot of the time?" Ave guessed as the lift stopped in the living room of Zim's upper house. "I'm wondering how you survive."  
"Yes, yes, whatever, I am Zim. Now, your room is the one on the left, mine is the one in the center!" Zim declared, and began to stumble into his room, Ave shuffling into his, shutting the door and falling on the bed. He was out in less than a minute as his mind let the pains and sores fade away on the soft, Vortian fabric.

***  
THREE DAYS AFTER ASSIGNING OF INVADER AVERII  
ALSO KNOWN AS MAY 9TH, 2085 ON EARTH  
THE ELEMENTARY SKOOL OF ZIM

By the time they got there, class had already started. Zim and Ave Entered the room as discreetly as possible, though Ave was quickly noticed by the residents of the classroom.  
"Ugh, looks like another one." Ms. Bitters muttered. "Class, take a break from your misery and look at the new horrible, doomed face." She announced unenthusiastically, dragging Ave to the desk as he began to look concerned.  
"Eh... Hello." Ave said, and saw Zim face-palm at the edge of his vision.  
"You're UGLY!" Zita, a purple haired girl shouted at him, and Ave cringing in annoyance as the rest of the class agreed. Bitters ignored them, and began to look among the rows of occupied seats to find someone to replace. Her hand drifted around, but froze on Brian, who had finally gotten back to class that day.  
"YOU... TO THE UNDERGROUND CLASSROOMS ONCE MORE." She hissed, and with Ave jumping back in surprise, the floor beneath Brian swallowed him up, and closed as Bitters deposited him in it.

Dib couldn't believe it. Another Irken scumbag, here to help Zim take over his planet! And everyone was just sitting there, again! He stood up in his seat in outrage, and began to shout hysterically in anger.  
"He's an alien too! SEE? HE HAS GREEN SKIN! HORRIBLE GREEN SKIN!"  
"IT'S A SKIN CONDITION!" Zim argued, slamming his fists down on his desk.  
"NO IT'S NOT!" Dib reasoned, the kids, however, not believing, like all the time, and attracted annoyed glares, especially from the 'Letter M', as everyone called him.  
"Haven't we gone over this before?" He growled in agitation. "Dib, will you quit being a racist and just shut up?"  
"SILENCE!" Bitters hissed.  
"I AM NOT BEING A RACIST! JUST LOOK AT HIS DISGUSTING GREEN SKIN!"  
"Brainless Dib-Meat! I SHALL POUND YOUR FACE INTO... EH, MEAT!" Zim shot back, which was enough for the students.  
"Zim's got a point!" Zita yelled, and Dib began to be hit by a tsunami of insults.  
"Ugh... today... is going... to be... a long day..." Dib muttered to himself, annoyed.

***  
1 HOUR LATER

Zim shuddered as he re-entered the cafeteria, the taste of the HORRID human foods still fresh in his memory, and gagged a bit before remembering that Ave was still just standing there, waiting to get his orders.  
"Invader Averii, THIS is the cafeteria." He whispered, gesturing. "It's obvious the Humans come here to eat every day, and choke down the horrid foodstuffs provided."  
"...Horrid?" Ave chirped in.  
"Almost every Earth food is either a major allergy concern or a hazardous poison to us. If you eat ANYTHING here, you'll most likely be WRITHING on the floor as your intestines are vomited out!" He finished with a shout, though quickly began to whistle and look the other way as a few Humans began to raise eyebrows at them.  
"Eh, nothing out of the ordinary here! Yep!" Ave quickly said in defense. They looked away quickly, focusing back on their foods. Zim dropped the charade with a sigh of relief as they did so.

Instead of eating, Dib's hands worked as fast as they could to jot down notes on the new Irken, Averii. So fast they worked, he did not notice until they had defaced part of the table, having run out of paper to write on.  
"Look at them, Gaz!" Dib said, grabbing a napkin and wiping at the accidental graffiti. "Everyone's so clueless! Like... Like... THEY'RE JUST REALLY CLUELESS!" He shouted.  
"Whiner." Was all that came out of the purple-haired Goth's mouth, focused heavily on her Gameslave 2 while munching on the last remnant of her pizza.  
"Seriously Gaz! THERE'S TWO OF THEM NOW! IT'S DOUBLE THE TROUBLE!" Gaz's only response to this was a grunt of annoyance as she got up to leave. "It looks like it's me alone, once more..." Dib muttered dramatically.


	4. Name, anyone? Please?

A/N - The shortness, the horrible shortness. Although, still not almighty smallest.

* * *

TWO DAYS AFTER ASSIGNING OF INVADER AVERII  
ALSO KNOWN AS MAY 8TH, 2085 ON EARTH  
SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN THE SKOOL AND MACMEATIES

"Ugh, it Stinks here!" Averii complained, wincing at the assault on his microscopic nose as he and Zim tried to blend in on the way to the 'MacMeaties'. "How can you STAND this?!"  
"BECAUSE I AM ZIM!" Came Zim's reply as they continued on through the slum-like neighborhood. "There are many advantages to being me, ZIM, such as being THE GREATEST INVADER TO DATE!" He shouted, luckily no near humans to hear this.  
"Invader? You know, I just remembered, in the message to me..." Ave began, but was cut off abruptly by Zim.  
"THERE! WE HAVE ARRIVED AT... THE MACMEATIES!" Zim shouted, pointing to the building, eager to finish the duty. "Now, stand here and... Eh, just wait." He ordered, walking inside the rather small fast-food place.  
Waiting, Ave began to fiddle around with a pen and a paper he produced from his PAK; on the paper was a copy of a blueprint he had. Since he had nothing else to do in life before, waiting for a call to service, there was only the definite schedule of eating and taking his prescriptions; anything else was a malleable factor he could shape to fit his mood. One of the most common things he bent to fit into his rather empty daily schedule was making designs.  
So busy he was, with the blueprint, he didn't notice when Dib snuck behind him, and grabbed his PAK, yanking it off as it detached itself from it's spine, and with a shout of half pain, half surprise, Dib had taken the PAK from Ave.  
"What's in THIS, spaceboy? A laser rifle? Irken Plans? A HUMAN BRAIN? HUH? HUH?!" Dib shouted at him as the Blue alien glared at him from behind his Disguise's lenses.  
"YOU FILTHY PIECE OF UTTER DOOKIE!" He hissed, rearing back, baring his teeth, and with a leap, tackled the Scythe-Haired boy. The PAK clattered along the ground, but somehow scuttled back onto Ave's back as he began to wrestle with the boy. A small crowd began to gather around them as Dib did his best to slam punches into Ave's stomach, and Ave trying what he could to send angry fists and chops towards Dib's face, trying to incapacitate the boy. This went on for only a minute, until Zim came out of the restaurant, carying packages of meat on his back, towering at a comical height.

Zim was beyond mad at the sight of his new aide, already picking a fight and drawing attention; and with DIB of all people, and all because he left him alone.  
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS FOOLISHNESS? DIB MEAT! GET OFF OF HIM!" Zim hissed, and the crowd dissipated as he approached, setting the meat down not far from them. Yanking him off, he found Dib, sporting a minor bloody nose and a few missing teeth. Clutching the throat of Dib, he brought their faces close. "GET OUT OF HERE, FILTHY HUMAN!" He shouted. Dib didn't hesitate when Zim let go, and scrambled off, snickering slightly; he knew he'd landed a few good ones on Averii. Speaking of him, he was face-down, shaking slightly, sounding as if he was crying. Growling in agitation, Zim began to pull him up by the neck...  
Only to be met with the mostly undamaged and amused face of his new assistant.  
"I don't see why you can't beat him. What are you, holding out on him?" He joked, dusting himself, before getting a slap. He reeled from the blast, but his face was still too cheery for Zim's tastes.  
"DAMN YOU ASSISTANT, DAMN YOU TO THE PITS OF THE DEFECTIVE! ARE YOU TRYING TO BLOW OUR COVER?" He shouted, fuming; Ave would've noted he was lucky that there were no Humans around, if he was concentrating.  
"He took my PAK. What did you expect me to do?" Ave chuckled, calming himself. "Besides, if I took longer than 10 minutes to get it back, I'd be dead. Much better to try now than later."  
"I WILL NOT SPEND MY DAYS AS A LIVING BIO-SPECIMEN IN A HUMAN LAB BECAUSE OF YOU!" He threw down Ave, having grabbed him by the collar. "You fool!" He hissed once more. "GATHER THE MEATS, AIDE. WE ARE HEADING HOME." He ordered, Ave pulling himself together and looking up the sizable meat package.  
"...How is it Irkenly possible to carry that much flesh in the first place?" Ave shuddered. The stack was comically tall.

It took him an hour to figure out how to lift it, and by the time he got back to base, it had taken him four hours to haul it. To say the least, Zim was not amused with this.  
"THERE you are!" He grunted in annoyance; he was busying himself with a lick-stick and television. At least he wasn't as mad. "I've been waiting for what, a DAY?" He complained as Ave dropped the load into the cargo lift in the living room, which descended into depths unknown as Ave stepped onto the elevator.  
"To be honest, the Dib-Fight was easy, even though he was able to steal my PAK for the first few seconds." Ave noted.  
"Ah, yes, your PAK. This fell out of it. I... MAY have looked at it." Zim said, handing him a familiar blueprint, which he then stuffed away. He then stepped onto the lift with him as it descended. "The Dib-Incident was a humiliation. You let him get your PAK? Never let your guard down." He growled. "Though, you did scar him a bit, that might stop him from bothering us for a while." Zim said on a lighter note, stepping forward as they stopped at their destination; the Medilab.  
"Now, with all the filth of this planet, I was panicked about... Germs." Zim said, uttering the last word as if it was a curse. "The horrid things. GIR was covered in them."  
"Germs? What'd the ones on this planet do?"  
"There's other planets with germs?"  
"Yes, like Irk."  
"YOU LIE! YOU LIEEEE!" Zim hissed, and began to swing his arms in a clawing motion, but stopped after his assistant began to give him a wierd look.  
"I'm going to ignore that." Ave said awkwardly. "Ahem. ANYWAYS, these germs'll make your head explode!" Zim half-shouted. "In my search for a solution, I found that THIS specific meat..." He gestured to the package, which had mysteriously appeared behind Ave. "Well, if your skin is covered in it, bond to you and grant you Germ Immunity." Ave's jaw began to slacken on that sentence's ending.  
"Wait, you mean all germs?" He said, his eyes wide and unbelieving.  
"Yep. As far as I know, anyways." Zim said casually, striding over to a control panel.  
"Aaaand why have you not shown the tallest this?" Ave asked.  
"They said they were too busy to see." Zim said, shrugging. "Not sure if they'd be interested anyways."

THE MASSIVE, ABOVE IRK

"Hey, Red, remember when Zim had that meat suit? That melted into his skin?" Purple asked, chuckling.  
"And invaded his eyes? HECK YEAH!" He shouted, laughing. "I liked the part where he nearly went blind!"  
"And wasn't it stupid when he tried to send us some?" Purple continued.  
"No way am I trusting my life with his supposed anti-germ meat." He replied.

ZIM'S MEDLAB, EARTH, A FEW MINUTES LATER

"IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND IRKEN, THE PAIN! THE HORRIBLE PAIN!" Ave screamed, tearing at his eyes.  
"DON'T DO THAT! IT'LL INVADE YOUR EYES!" Zim advised, but it was too late, and Ave continued to scream and run around in pain in the secure glass room, covered in a special meat-paste coating. "WHY DO YOU NOT LISTEN TO ZIM?"  
"YOU ARE NOT HELPING." Ave hissed, slowing as he gripped his eyes, then ran into the operating table, falling elbow-first. Grimacing slightly, Zim deactivated the microphones for the operating room, and sighed as he walked out, hearing the dull shouts from Ave as the pain REALLY started, and took out a familiar looking paper.  
"Take a look I did, indeed." He muttered, and began to ascend to his 'Making stuff' room to wait for the procedure of the meat and paste to finish. "Now what applications do YOU have, I wonder?"


	5. Behold the Copypasta

A/N - The only long chapter within the first six.

* * *

EARTH, THREE DAYS AFTER ASSIGNMENT OF INVADER AVERII  
ALSO KNOWN AS EARLY MAY 9TH, 2085 ON EARTH.  
ZIM'S 'MAKING STUFF' ROOM.

Though he had managed to anger him today, Averii seemed to have a bit of potential in this random design he left on the ground; from what Zim understood, it was a wrist-mounted blade, such things were already made, though this one called for plasma-edges to be used, that, and it was designed to be almost indistinguishable from the normal Irken glove. So while his assistant went through the stages of vaccination, he decided to try and create one.  
"Computer!" He called out.  
"Whaaaat?" The computer responded, complaint in it's tone.  
"Fetch me building materials and energy coils. I'm going to work. And keep me updated on Human events!" He commanded.  
"Yes, Master." It groaned, and after a few minutes of waiting in the rather cluttered room of various projects (new robot-bees, unfinished plans to get rid of Dib, that sort of thing) a table was cleared nearby, and the wall behind it retracted to reveal all sorts of metals in all sorts of shapes and configurations. He strode over quickly, and laid out the plans on the table, and after looking them over a few times, he quickly noticed that this would take a while, and groaned in agitation.  
"Computer, never-mind the building materials, begin to smelt material and... design 2 pairs of this design, immediately." He said the last part with hesitation, the last time he trusted the computer to create something (3 months ago) it had blown up the roof and knocked out the Voot for that long.  
"Make up your mind, Master..." It continued to complain as it replaced the wall between the metal and Zim, and after another five minutes of boredom and looking at the blueprint, it finally opened back up to reveal 4 seemingly-ordinary gloves.  
"Excellent." Zim declared as he saw them. "You better hope they work or else I'll let GIR into your CPU room." He threatened.  
"UH, YES MASTER, THEY ARE IN PERFECT ORDER, NO NEED FOR THAT!" The computer panicked, and then quickly replaced the wall after Zim retrieved the gloves. Smirking victoriously, he began to stroll back to the elevator.  
"Computer, Med-lab floor. Now if you favor your CPU." He ordered, the testing would wait for now.  
"YES SIR." It replied, panic apparent as the elevator rushed down.

***  
ORBIT AROUND EARTH

"Power coupling." Tak asked her newly-reactivated servant.  
"Power coupling!" The robot replied enthusiastically, handing her the part.  
"This will be much easier with you around to help, MiMi." Tak muttered as she began to place the last repaired bits they had ready in her escape pod. Today marked 421 days since Zim humiliated her again, and at this rate she'd be back on Earth and making him pay dearly by the 426th day.  
"Affirmative, Mistress."  
"Now we wait for you to repair those last parts, right, MiMi?" Tak said.  
"Affirmative."  
"Well then, let us go over the plan again?"  
"Repair pod. Re-Enter Earth's Atmosphere. Survive landing. Make him pay." The small robot said the last part with delight creeping into her voice.  
"Yes, make him pay." Tak chuckled. "So, do you have any idea what that flash was, MiMi? That reactivated you?"  
"Surge of energy, possibly a teleportation transmission, used to transport fragile materials and individuals."  
"Well then, considering how no one's sane enough to come out here, let's just assume it's materials." Tak continued to laugh quietly.  
"From my scans as it went into the atmosphere, I'd say it was an Individual."  
"You're joking, right?" Tak said flatly, and stopped chuckling to herself. "Who is sane enough to come here?"

***  
EARTH  
ZIM'S MED-LAB

Letting Averii have some privacy as he redressed himself in behind the glass (his old ones were soaked with meat juices and paste), he could still catch painful noises from behind the now tinted container, but after about another five minutes, making the total about 40 since Zim began the procedure, Zim finally rose the glass to a see the pained face of his assistant, shining blue eyes intact.  
"THAT REALLY HURT, TO SAY THE LEAST." He growled, head in his hands. Must have a headache, Zim assumed.  
"Whatever, are you well enough to help me with something, Averii?"  
"Aside from my head-splitting ache, and my eyes feeling like they're being ripped out, yes, I'm fine." Ave said sarcastically, pulling himself up off the table. "What is it?" He groaned.  
"Remember that one blueprint thingy? I may have made a copy." Zim said innocently.  
"Ah, that." Ave said on a lighter note, and began to roll his head and crack his neck, stretching a bit. "I thought something like that. Did you make it then botch it?" He automatically assumed.  
"I Don't know, I haven't tried it yet!" Zim hissed, offended by his assistant's automatic assumption of failure.  
"Then why don't we try it now? Give me one if you made more for me."  
"You're wearing it." Zim said plainly.  
"Alright, then... Just hope my arm doesn't explode like it almost did the last time, or else." Ave threatened.  
"Hey, I'M THE COMMANDER HERE, I should be threatening you!" Zim complained, and nearly found himself speared an a pair of blue-edged metal blades protruding from Averii's right wrist.  
"Works." Ave chuckled, then groaned. "Anyways," He began, clutching at his head with a pained grimace. "Thinking activates it, now if you'll excuse me, I need a moment before I vomit or something." He said plainly as he began to turn a slightly darker shade of green.  
"Eh, GIR! COMPUTER! SOMEONE! FETCH HIM THE BUCKET!" He panicked before Ave began to wretch his dinner out, sickening Zim. Luckily, a Robotic Arm had managed to deliver the bucket and prevent a catastrophe.

A horrid sound was reported later that day, described as a vulgar, retching-type of noise.

"Ugh. Hate that." Averii groaned as the bucket retreated into the ceiling, and pulled himself up slowly onto the nearby table.  
"That's never happened before." Zim said simply, staying a certain distance from him.  
"You don't say." Ave said in annoyance. "Ugh, I'm going to lay down for a bit." He muttered, and started to hobble his way over to the elevator.  
"DON'T YOU DARE VOMIT ON THE FLOOR ON YOUR WAY THERE, ASSISTANT!" Zim called after him.  
"Whatever!" Ave replied as the doors began to shut. Shaking his head in annoyance, Zim strode over to the medical console, and typed in a few commands, deactivating the equipment and retracting the table where Ave had been on. As he began to walk to the elevator, he looked at his hand in doubt; more specifically, the glove he wore right then. He had his doubts whether or not it would work.

"Activate. Draw. Stab!" He hissed at it in annoyance. "Just turn on already, you piece of junk!" Still no response from the glove and it's supposed wristblades. "...This is defective." He muttered to himself, and hissed the last word; he despised it, like the rest of the Irken Race. Though he himself had never seen any actual defective (Aside from Tak, perhaps) he was still programmed with a hatred for them. Such a thing was standard.  
"Of course it's broken, I didn't design it..." He muttered. "Only ZIM can build something for himself correctly..." He continued, and as the door opened to his building room, he smiled to himself. Of course it would work if he made it, he was Zim. "COMPUTER! DISASSEMBLE!" He shouted, tossing the gloves at nearby worktable.

"Oh, THAT'S A LIE! I mean seriously, that's a guy in a monkey suit!" Dib shouted from the other side of the couch; Gaz diverted one eye from the screen to glare at him in annoyance, and even with the divided attention, still managed to dodge blows from the tide of Vampire Piggies on her Gameslave, and in turn, cost them more and more.  
"Dib, shut up or else." She said simply.  
"Sorry Gaz, but seriously, that does NOT look like bigfoot, right?" Dib protested, attempting to get her to observe the focus of tonight's show; something about Bigfoot sightings or something. Nothing interesting, like always.  
"Go bother the new alien, Dib. It's that or suffering. Choose." She said simply.  
"Oh, that reminds me!" Dib began, and ran off to do or fetch something; she didn't care, and just continued to play her videogames.

"Zim? There seems to be a camera in my room, looking suspiciously like an eyeball." Averii called into the room, startling Zim, who nearly stabbed himself with his own variant of the wrist-blade glove in panic.  
"Hm? Lies! THERE ARE NO CAMERAS!" Zim declared, and pointing in rage. "YOU LIE!"  
"Well," Ave began, leaning on the wall and putting a hand to his forehead. "There's one that has been staring at me from my room and skittering around." Zim stood there for a moment, processing what he just said.  
"LIES! THERE ARE NO CAM-" He froze before he could finish his accusation, however, as said camera skittered into the edge of his view.  
"Oh, it followed me." Ave grunted in annoyance. "Where are those lies of yours now, Sir?" He taunted.  
"COMPUTER! CATCH THE MACHINE!" Zim commanded, but was met with silence as the machine began to skitter behind a few piles of material. "GET THE THING! NOW!" Zim ordered Ave, who grunted in compliance and something that sounded like Sir, and strode over to the pile, and grabbed the machine...  
He then shouted in pain as the thing shocked him, and in return, attempted to stab it, and failing as the thing jumped over his head in Zim's direction.  
"GET IT!" He shouted, leaping at the thing as Zim attempted to grab it, but only ended up with a painful pricking to the face and eyes as the thing hopped from his face to Zim's, and up onto a wall once more as they recoiled from the painful and sharp legs of the device.  
"YOU THERE! YOU ARE SCRAP TO ME! I! AM! ZIIIIIMMMM!" He shouted at it in rage as he tried to grab it with his bare hands, leaving Ave clutching at his face.

"TAKE THAT, ALIEN SCUM! AND YOU TOO, ZIM!" He shouted in triumph.  
"DIIIB." Gaz growled.  
"Right, sorry!"

"GOTCHA!" Ave shouted, diving into Zim's path, and gripping the camerabot tightly as Zim tripped over him, and by extension, into the elevator facefirst. Shouting in pain, Zim peeled himself off the wall and floor of the elevator, strode over to the triumphant Ave, and slapped the Machine out of his hands, and into his own.

"AH! NO, NO, NO NO NO!" Dib began to shout frantically; annoying Gaz once more; this time, she took action.  
"GIMME THAT!" She growled, yanking the laptop from Dib, and pressed the largest red button she could find.  
"GAZ! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? THAT'S THE SELF DESTRUCT!" He cried, attempting to grab the machine back.  
"That's the point; next time, you'll remember to shut up and go away before I make you loose one of your toys." She grunted, and tossed the somewhat-fragile machine behind the couch.

"VICTORY!" Zim declared, shortly before the Machine started beeping and flashing red. Pointing at the ceiling, Zim was too busy in this pose to notice.  
"...Sir? The robot's flashing." Averii said, rubbing his hand.  
"Eh Oh, it is." Zim acknowledged.  
"Shouldn't we, perhaps, throw it in the elevator?" Ave suggested.  
"Good idea! Glad I thought of it!" Was all he said before he tossed it into Ave's hands, and practically tossed him into the elevator and locked the door. After a few seconds of panicked beeping and yelling, there was a muffled thump, and out came a blackened Ave with a few unidentifiable chunks of metal in his face, among other places.  
"...I caught it." He muttered.  
"Yes, yes, VICTORY FOR ZIM!" he shouted.  
"I think I have shrapnel in my face." Averii attempted.  
"VICKY FOR ZIM!" Zim continued.  
"Whatever. Suffering and pain." Averii muttered as he started to pull some small bits from his thick uniform overcoat, and adding it to the small pile of scrap nearby. "But suffering and pain aren't new, right?"  
"Yes, yes, suffering and pain. We must focus on the issue at hand; and that is who that machine belonged to!" Zim declared, and continued to reassemble the wrist-blade gloves.  
"...How about the fat-headed kid? Or how much it saw?" Averii suggested.  
"Whatever, that too. FETCH ME THE SOLDERING... THINGAMAJIGS!" He ordered, and Ave sighed in annoyance as he strode over to find the 'thingamajigs', as said by Zim.  
"What was wrong with that glove, anyways?"  
"It was broken, your plans weren't read right!" Zim said in agitation, waiting for the Solder  
"Then why does mine work perfectly?" Ave countered, drawing the left blade, and sliced some nearby scrap in half with just a small grunt of effort. Grumbling in annoyance, Zim simply stared, attempting to find an answer.  
"You're making it up!" Zim accused.  
"No, I'm not. You probably weren't doing it right." Averii replied in agitation.  
"Well, if you're so smart, WHICH DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE SUPERIOR TO ZIM IN ANY WAY, then why won't it activate?" He challenged.  
"Did you connect the two cables to your PAK?" Averii said, pointing out two retractable, small cables coming from the end of his glove. Zim just stared.  
"YOU'RE MAKING IT UP, LIES! LIES!" Zim screamed.


	6. Chapter 6

THE MASSIVE, THREE MILICYCLES AFTER ASSIGNMENT OF INVADER AVERII  
ALSO KNOWN AS MAY 9TH, 2085 ON EARTH.  
THE BRIDGE.

"Ya know," Purple began, finishing off his latest doughnut, "I wonder if the Invader guy we sent's still alive."  
"Bet you today's Nachos he isn't." Red said, chuckling. "The kid's probably dying from some poison Zim concocted, I dunno. But in case, we'd better check up on him; Zim might ship another demon-squid if he can't warn us." The entire bridge shuddered at the memory of it; a few months prior, Zim had sent a large package to the massive; in it, contained some form of twisted Earth Creature Zim had found. It was a rather disastrous affair.  
"Though that squid was delicious." Someone said; Red zeroed in on him.  
"YOU!" Red shouted, pointing towards the source; one of the Irken Technicians.  
"Sir!" He saluted, turning from his console.  
"Contact Zim; to be specific, Invader, eh..." Red faltered.  
"Avey?" Purple suggested.  
"No, it was longer; whoever answers this gets a doughnut." Red said in defeat.  
"Invader Averii, sir?" A nearby female technician answered hopefully.  
"Yeah, I think it was." Said another.  
"Oh yes, Invader Averii; contact him. Oh, and Purple?"  
"Yeah?" He answered, stuffing a doughnut into his mouth.  
"I'm going to need this." Red said, snatching the largest chocolate doughnut, and ignoring Purple's protests, tossed it to the Tech, who shouted with glee as the large bakery treat impacted her.

"Invader Averii?" The masked Tech asked him. "The Tallest wish for a report on your status."  
"What exactly do they need to know?" He asked, raising an eye slightly. The tech looked off-screen for a moment. There was some unintelligible muttering, and a partially muted hiss or command (the tech had covered the screen with his hand), but the masked face reappeared a moment later.  
"Are you alone?" He asked. Ave pulled his eyes away from the screen for a brief moment; he was sure Zim didn't have any audio bugs planted here.  
"Affirmative. Now, what exactly must I repo-" He was cut off by the voice of Red in the background.  
"We don't need the daily weather, if that's what you're asking. We want to know if he's planning anything that may... Prove disastrous." His two leaders then appeared, along with the rest of the Massive's bridge, on his screen. Purple was attempting to mutter something, though his mouth was full of nachos.  
"What do you mean, sirs?" Ave asked, swinging his legs off the bed, keeping a firm grip on the device.  
"You're our only sane link to Zim, just so you know." Purple piped up, before Red shot him a glare.  
"Ignore him, kid. Avey, is it?" Red asked; something in Ave stirred, but he ignored it.  
"Averii, sirs."  
"Yes yes, Averii, you know that incident with that... creature attacking the massive? It was all over the news." Ave raised another eye.  
"The demon-squid? I remember something about it."  
"Zim sent it. Even if some people died, it was a nice dinner." Purple chipped in.  
"The same Zim I'm here with, sirs?"  
"Yeah, that one. Try to keep things like that away from the fleet, and by extension, Irk." Red half-heartedly ordered, munching on a new doughnut.  
"Yes sirs!" Ave saluted.  
"Keep us posted; and remember, don't let him ship anything that'll end up blowing up in our faces." The transmission cut to the Military's Logo, and then static.

"Yes, sirs." He muttered. The screen then blanked, and returned to the page in Ave's holo-book; something on older human weaponry Zim's computer had given him. Looking up from his book, he surveyed his room once more. It was stocked with typical Irken provisions, as he'd had for the past couple of days. He decided to head out of his room for a small bit, his back beginning to cramp slightly. Zim had told him to get some rest after a small argument regarding his vision and his ability to spot large cables extending from Gloves.  
Ave assumed it was getting close to when he and Zim should leave for the Skool after a few minutes of bored Television Surfing (He found it partially amusing at times; even if that one show with the monkey sent chills down his spine), and went off to find his 'Commanding Officer'.

She turned; the damned pig nearly had her throat that time, and she only had a couple lives left (She blamed Dib for making her lose the other 7). The thing was, in a word, ugly.  
"Come on, you warty, demon bacon..." She muttered, and fired a few blasts at it, to little avail, and jumped out of the way when it tried to swoop down and grab her again. She grimaced, getting back on her feet, and...

Gaz's face blanked when the device blanked. She froze, staring at the black screen. Shaking her head and the device in disbelief, she smacked it not once, not twice, but three times. Containing a shout of rage, she cursed softly under her breath, and went to find Dib. This was the first time she had run out of battery in months.  
"Dib." She called into his room; he was probably on his computer.  
"What is it, Gaz? I'm working; Zim's found my bug! Again!" Dib shouted urgently. Putting her ear to the door, Gaz could hear the faint rustlings and muted clangs of parts being tossed around in exasperation.  
"You took the last batteries, didn't you?" She growled, kicking the door in; some may have sworn there were a few sparks.  
"What do you mean, Gaz?" Dib asked, turning. He was holding some sort of casing, but Gaz didn't care.  
"There's no more batteries; I never use them all. Therefore you took them. Dib's eyes widened, and he dropped the parts he was holding.  
"G-Gaz, you got this all wrong!" He reasoned, beginning to back up. "I... I'd never take the last batteries!" He stammered, and began to move his eyes about, searching for an exit.  
"You ALWAYS take the last thing. You take the last Soda, the last Pizza slice, and you eat all the Franken-Chokies!" She hissed, pointing a finger at him and glaring. Dib gulped and began to fear for his life.  
"I... I'd never take the last battery now, not after the last times!" He said in fear. "Besides, you probably misplaced them, or-or maybe Dad took them somewhere!" Gaz knew he was just stalling now.  
"YOU TOOK MY BATTERIES!" She screeched, and lunged at him; it was only by pure luck that Dib dove out of the way (And by extension, the window) in time.  
"DIIIIIIIIIIB!" She shouted from inside the house, while Dib tumbled down; luckily he landed somewhat softly on the ground.  
"YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!" Gaz screamed, head out the window, as Dib began to run and scream from the house.


	7. All naming effort is gone

"So, uh, Zim, sir?" Ave asked, looking at the red-eyed Irken who he was now stuck with; he was careful not to eye him strangely as he typed away on the computer.  
"Yes, yes, what is it? I'm in the middle of an important... thing." A glare met his stare as Zim turned briefly, still typing.  
"I think it's close to time for Skool, Zim. We should probably leave soo-" He was cut off by Zim grunting, and turning away.  
"You don't know, do you? These humans do not have Skool on these... Weekends. Today and tomorrow we are free to plan." Zim hissed, continuing to type something out. "Now shoo, go do something useful, like watch the Perimeter or whatever." Zim gestured with his hand to the corridor from which Ave had come from, and sighing, the young Invader left the room.

"MiMi, I need your input on this." Tak called to the small machine, busy at the pod's controls (They'd rigged a propulsion system earlier; it made getting out of space easier).  
"Yes, Mistress?" MiMi's head did a 180; Tak tried not to find it disturbing.  
"Shall we attempt to find a vacant area, set up our own base, or take Zim's?" She chuckled at the thought.  
"Operation Defective Scumbag would be completed much faster if we attempted the latter, although a higher chance of success would result if we decided on the former." The machine paused. "The former would also be more reliable, if slow."  
"Hm. Do we have any personal construction units on-board?" Tak asked, raising an eye.  
"Negative."  
"How good are our chances of crash-landing in Zim's base and surviving, then?"  
"69.3%. 24.7% of that would result in staying conscious."  
"MiMi, make sure not to end up breaking my spine when we crash-land. If you do I will deactivate you personally."  
"Illogical, you'd be dead."  
"Shut up and help me drive this thing through re-entry."

"Day off? Convenient." Averii muttered, plopping himself down on the couch and rebooting his Blaze E-Reader. He then continued to read about the AK-47 and it's various clones. He had never thought of various different companies and alliances competing to design weaponry; he had always been used to Government-designed, Government-issued weaponry like his old Overwatch Rifle.

"To sum up this report to myself, ZIM, during the procedure, subject became infuriatingly disobedient, and disregarded order-"  
"Sir, there's sorta a... High speed object... Thing... approaching the base. It's pretty fast." His computer interrupted.  
"Hm? A missile? An aircraft? Lock down the base!" Zim ordered.  
"But we have no lock-down, Sir." The computer argued.  
"SHOOT IT DOWN!" He hissed.  
"No Point Defense Systems either."  
"WHAT KIND OF BASE HAS NO SIMPLE AIR DEFENSES?" Zim continued to screech.  
"Yours." The computer retorted.

"HELP! HELP! OH GOD, HELP!" Dib shouted as he sprinted down the street; there were few trees, and at noon, he couldn't hide in the dark.  
"DIIIIIB!" He heard his sister hiss; she didn't sound far.  
"HELP ME!" His cries continued to go unanswered (Save for the occasional head out the window or annoyed glare from the odd adult; it sucked to be the Protector of Humanity sometimes).  
"YOU! WILL! PAY!" Came her shouting once more; she was on the warpath.  
"I DIDN'T TAKE THE LAST BATTERY, I'M TELLING YOU!" He cried, his legs beginning to burn as he frantically searched for a hiding place, before spotting a reasonably concealed tree to his right. "SERIOUSLY! I DIDN'T!" He shouted once more, glancing over his shoulder. No one there, but probably not for long; if he was going to try to hide, it was now, and he began to run for the tree, sprinting like a madman (Not that he was or wasn't).

She knew he was hiding; in that one tree he always watched Zim from. Every day, watching the incompetent alien like a sort of stalker.  
"You can't delay this, Dib." She hissed under her breath; she began to stare towards him, but froze as she locked onto what looked like...

"A meteor?" Dib thought aloud. "Falling towards..." His gaze fell to the green and purple target; Zim's base. He hardly realized he was in his favorite spy tree.

***

"MIMI... SURVIVABILITY?" Tak hissed out, her robot crushed to the wall behind her, and her back squished to her seat. She was straining to pull the ship up, trying to keep the cockpit out of danger.  
"UNKNOWN." The machine replied, barely heard over the roar of re-entry as they screeched towards Zim's base.  
"THIS IS GETTING RATHER PAINFUL!" Tak shouted; the machine could do nothing to respond as the hurtled, nose-first, towards Zim's roof.  
"RECOMMEND TO BRAC-" The machine was cut off by the screaming and ear-wrenching cries of the metal in both the base roof and Tak's ship being crushed and destroyed as she tore through. It didn't help that Tak was screaming now, and that the two began to be thrashed about the cabin. Nor did it help that there were many loud cracks as she ricocheted around.

***

Ave had froze when he heard it.  
"Oh, crap." He said; the familiar roar of a ship entering atmosphere (Or a meteor) filled the air, getting louder each passing second. Then, he heard the screaming of metal on high-speed metal as he dived clear of the couch as a steel _something_ tore through it and the ceiling, shouting in panic as it embedded itself in the floor.  
"ASSISTANT! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" He heard Zim shout, he glanced to his right, and saw Zim emerging from the toilet lift.  
"Eh..." He looked to the crashed mass, and to the hole in the ceiling (He saw a few pieces of crushed purple, pink, and crimson material; probably the Voot Runner Zim had).  
"Well?" He prodded, still in the toilet.  
"There's... A pod or something. I think it crashed through the Voot." Averii said.  
"Hm?" Zim's eyes looked intrigued. "What do you mean pod..." He strode past Ave, and glanced at the wreckage. "SWEET TALLEST ABOVE! SHE'S HERE TO GUT ME!" He hissed, and ran back into the kitchen.

She smelt smoke. That probably wasn't good. That, and she felt like all her bones were shattered. Which they probably were. She opened her eyes with a groan, her body throbbing, and immediately wished she hadn't. The pod was on it's side, it was dark, and she was sprawled out on her side, with her right arm twisted the wrong way and bleeding out of more than a few spots, and to add to that, she had a ringing in her ears and she could hear the sparking and crackling of a flame not too far away, probably in the power unit.  
"MiMi..." She groaned, and coughed up lime green; that wasn't good.  
"Er... Er-rrr..." She heard her machine try to speak. From what she heard, it wasn't good for her small creation as well.  
Not that she could help it when the robot fell on her head, and black became all she saw and heard. Simply black darkness.

"What do you mean, she?" Averii asked, perplexed. "You mean this thing belongs to someone you know?"  
"IT'S HER! THE TAK-DEMON! SHE'S RETURNED!" Zim hissed, curling his fists into claws and hunching over.  
"Someone's in there? Shouldn't we do something?" Ave suggested. "It's not right to leave someone like this if they're alive in there!"  
"DO something? Hilarious!" Zim laughed sarcastically. "You don't understand! She's a hideous creature, a hideous, robot-stealing, mission-thieving abomination!" He hissed.  
"If you hate her so much, why don't you capture her or something?" He retorted. "Besides, there's a _bit_ of smoke coming out of there, if we don't do something, there'll be a sizable fire."  
"Ugh, whatever. Come on, we don't have all day." Zim grunted, angry and defeated. Ave followed him around and over the tentacles of the ship (They nearly missed landing on the TV, lucky for GIR) and stood at the smoke-clouded, part-buried glass cockpit.  
"How are we going to do this?" Ave asked, ready to get to work.  
"Hm..." Zim paused, thinking, and after a moment, his antennae sprang up. "INGENIOUS!" He shouted, lifting a startled Averii over his head and flinging him head-first into the crack webbed glass. With all the damage it had sustained, the tough material shattered into pieces as Ave sailed through, and out poured the smoke, revealing the slumped form of Tak, with MiMi on her head.  
Both were unmoving, which made something inside Zim tighten.  
"You prick, that hurt!" Ave hissed, coughing and spluttering as his glass-ridden head poked out of the back (He'd landed a bit farther in the smoke), but he froze, his expression hardening as he looked at the bodies before him.  
"Are they dead? Make sure before we start tossing the corpses." Zim ordered. Ave responded by tossing the inactive, battered, and mangled body of MiMi at him, narrowly missing his head.  
"That's for tossing me into starship-rated glass." He growled, crouching down and searching for a pulse. His eyes went wide when, amazingly enough, he found one. "Well, she's alive, but seeing the condition she's in, that probably won't be for long." He muttered, face hard and grim.  
The tightness inside Zim resided, and he breathed a sigh of relief, but smacked himself for it.  
"Well, then. Can you lift her yourself?" Zim asked.  
"We'll need one of those Gurney things." Ave said.  
"IT'S GREEN LADY AND MIMI! HI MIMI!" Shouted a familiar teal-eyed robot.  
"GIR! SHOO!" Zim hissed.


End file.
